Totally going crazy with anticipation

They guys should be arriving in Bermuda today.  Waiting for a phone call.  Checking my email every 10 seconds or so, like a pigeon in a behavioral training experiment.  Peck, peck, peck...

I am thinking that once they get to Bermuda they'll have to deal with customs, deal with blowing up the dinghy, maybe poor sat phone coverage, search for a wifi spot, etc.  Still...what the heck is taking so long?  I am sure one of the crew will eventually say...hey, lets call home! 

I refuse to get nervous or anxious right now.  Given the fact that the wind and waves have been at their nose for the last 36 hours, it really could have delayed progress.  Trying to be rational. 

For all those times that people have asked me whether I am nervous about Code being out at sea - I always said 'not at all'.  So then, why is it that today I have a case of the jitters?

Everything will be fine...even if Code is not following my schedule today. 

OK, so this is a drag...

So...the windiest place in the entire North Atlantic is Northwest of Bermuda.  Should dissipate in the next 48 hours.  Good thing that really smart captain subscribed to a private weather reporting service and they're nice and safe (if not a little bored)!! 

Shifting gears

Now that Code has departed, it is just me and the boys here at home to get the house (and ourselves) ready for the trip.   We have exactly 6 weeks from tomorrow until we leave, but I am going to pretend it is really just 5. I didnt put much, if anything, on the boat ahead of time for us (except for a box of Lego's and a Space Monkey set).  We're going to have to shlep life jackets, warm weather clothes, cold weather clothes, toys (they will each get a smallish box in which they can fill with toys of their choosing...but that's it!), shoes (an analogous large-ish box that I can fill with shoes of my liking??).  I've heard to bring nice clothes for France (I am totally intimidated...my french is pretty pathetic).

Still need to register the boys for their on line school.  Need to get my root canal done.  Need a tetanus shot.  Just random things.  Yet, in the midst of the to do list, my mind goes back to 'departure night'...with the boat leaving the marina just after dusk.  The water was glassy and black, the bow sliced through it and was followed by the quiet little putt putt of the motor at the stern.  It really was serene.  Then my mind pops back into a different gear all together.

My mom is nervous about this year, of course.  She is 90 going on 70.  Her body likes to complain now and again -  double knee replacement, mild type II diabetes, pacemaker notwithstanding, she still makes it to the gym a couple of times a week.  Possibly more often than I do.  She still is and always be my source of inspiration for knowing that it is never too late to act on a dream.  She went back to work at age 50 (when I was 5), got her masters degree 8 years later at 58, and retired at 70.  I am now exactly half of her age.  When she was 45, she had a baby.  Now I am 45, I am taking my young sons out to see a much bigger world, a second birth of sorts.  Maybe it is true, that there's something about mid life that makes one almost recklessly embark on a totally new chapter and all the while know that not matter how things go, everything is going to be not only alright, but life will be richer for it.

New life jackets for the kids

Is this not the cutest life jacket? I am so glad Graeme hasnt outgrown 'Nemo' yet. Code bought this cute life jacket for Graeme.  Aethan's is much more 'teen' and I cant find a picture.  Of course, it will be making appearances in future sailing pictures.

On their way

Code and crew departed Herrington Harbor at 9 pm tonight.  Aethan went with me to see him off but Graeme stayed at a friends house (too long of a car ride...).  Aethans had a really hard time seeing to boat leave... was OK until the boat turned the corner out of the marina.  We sat on the dock and watched the boats steaming lights until they disappeared around the corner of the bay.   Aethan cried until the lights were gone, and I had a lump in my throat.  Theres not much to say to a nine-year old boy saying goodbye to his dad - 6 weeks seems like forever to him right now.  It will be kind of long for me, too!

Things felt better as we got back to the car.  I felt like Aethan and I were a team at that moment.  He asked me not to talk about dad, at least for tonight, but he would like to sleep in my bed with me tonight. That will make me feel better, too.